Lately, I am scared

Getting to 40 next year.

I don't know why people are so cool about it.

If it wasn;t the beautiful people I have been seeing in Korean drama lately, which make me more conscious of how I look, I had not realised how much age has crept up on me. And it scares the daylight out of me.

Nah, no, I have not recovered yet. So lately, I have been trying to go on an overdrive with Mission Rescue. More like Mission Impossible. *sob*

It wasn't until I began scrutinising the mirror that I realised, much to my greatst horror - eye bags, skin spots, uneven skin tone, white hair, and the latest, thinning hair!! have all crept up on me!!!

What happened? How did I let myself go to this stage? Often I stared into the mirror in disbelief, and wonder where those few years have gone to. After Baobao was born, I had no time at all to be caring about my looks. And suddenly, I wake up from my baby years and see this monster in the mirror.

Oh, I don't blame her, that baby-years Me. It wasn't easy, and I hadn't forgotten. The days when you had to feed the kids before yourself, wake up a couple of times in the night, attend to every little cries and whines. There was no ME. This person did not exist. The worst time was I did not even had time to wash my hair. Like only last year. It came to this point that my hair was all oily and then I realised, oh, it's been a couple of days....

This story gels with the previous TCM teachings. I hadn't been taking good care of myself. OK, it's nothing to shout about. For most of us, middle aged mommies or daddies, who have to juggle family and work daily, that's nothing new.

But, it has to stop. The pace of physical ageing scares me. All along, I still thought of it as a half joke. It's ok. I have a loving husband, way past courtship days, what are looks for? It's the inside that is important.

But that was just too little care. In Yogic term, our body is a temple. Without which the soul has no home. Skin deep is not shallow. It is something we have to take good care of too.

So I am now dedicated to a regular excercise regime. Clean eating has to be sustained too...I had been scared. I'm not sure if I can ever reverse the effects that had happened (BOO HOO HOO), the least I can do, is to slow it further.