About blogging: It's funny how...

I feel I should be working on my etsy shop or be blogging when I have time.

Like there's a real job waiting for me to be done, that I promised someone so, and I have to do it.

Why?

I owe nobody all these right?

If I do not update my blog, nobody reads it. And so be it.

If I do not update my shop. No one buys anything. And that's it.

It's not as if I don't have a full time housekeeping job on hand too.  It's not as if a million, no, a thousand (damn it!) a hundred persons read my blog.

Without blogging or selling, I am just a happy housewife going about my daily business, scrubbing toilet floors, watching k drama, cooking dinners etc. Wouldn't it be great? Why do I take upon these jobs, which do not make me much money? 

Is it because of a promise I made to myself? That since I had committed myself to doing it, I must keep up with it. Partially. 

Also, I just feel as if someone is waiting when I do nothing. The world out there needs one more feeble voice to speak its heart..not a hundred of you, maybe a few.

The imperative to blog, really stems from my last illness. It affected me greatly. The illness last year, which incapacitated me for a couple of days made me realise one important thing.

I want to be around for my children. And it's not something you can wish for or control. Due to what happened then, I realise life's not always smooth sailing and go according to what you plan. So, should I disappear from this planet in the next day, I have left a trail of clues behind me to my children, letting them know what kind of person their mother is was is was is (CHOY!).

Maybe I watched too much drama, or am too sentimental, I think people need to know where they come from. Probably very Chinese old age kind of thinking. (Why leh? Can't a Chinese think like one?) Only when you know where you come from, then you are more grounded and know where to head to.

The shop has to go on. I still feel have a great shell, that when I am ready to go full steam, it's there for me to work on. (That means have to keep working on it, no let it be. - note to self)

And one last reason to blog, may I offer: To add a dimension to the cultural landscape of Singapore. I can be that one tiny piece that make up the face of how ordinary Singaporeans live. Not anything to be too proud of, nor something to trivalise. Just what is. One small piece is nothing, but when you see the whole face that is formed, Singapore is not only about modernity, city, sophistication etc.   

Now, I'm glad I have found some bombastic reasons and motivation for me to continue blogging. Cos it hadn't been easy lately. ( with too much drama watching. :P). No , not that. Could be due to ageing, I don't take to the computer so well these days. There's a sense of impatience when I sit before the screen. Like I better get it done quick before some neck pain sets in. And ahhhhh,.... is it with ageing too, there's a bit of difficulty transforming thoughts to words. It just feels like so much work!

I know. That's a lot of blabber right, for someone who hasn't worked much at the pc lately. quite alot of complaints.

Anyways, I'm slowly coming back. And hope this momentum continues..