Let's Blog

Been a while since my dizziness has put me out of the blogging game. I have been to so many places in my head in this time.

Every morning, I go for a slow walk at the garden downstairs. And I begin to appreciate what a beautiful garden we have, just right below us. Infact we have two gardens. one the rooftoop garden above the multi storey carpark, with playgrounds, and spaces. Then we have Montreal Green, just two blocks away.

I would walk two to three rounds and then medidate or practise qigong afterwards. I can't tell you how much it does for my wellbeing. Every excercise session feels good after.

Qigong is very effective for my dizziness. Every time it strikes, I will practise that particular excercise and feel better immediately.

Food.

I have cut down on junk food. While I could down one packet of potato chips or a big bar of chocolate before, now I will only eat a little a day.

I check food labels alot more now and try to keep my sodium intake low. According to a DASH plan recommended by the US Health department, taking a 1300mg sodium diet daily helps to reduce blood pressure. So I try to keep sodium down as much as I could.

And what a revelation for me, after this illness and all the reading up! That we have been consuming so much sodium in our daily diet. Who would have thought salt could kill?

I also quickly learnt that in a MacDonalds breakfast, I can quickly blow my sodium quota for the day with just one meal. (each meal averages 1000mg!)

I had always opposed to a calorie counting way of eating before. What agony I thought! But now, I have become sodium counting. What gives?

When we eat out, I mostly eat yong tau foo or soup based mee. And not finish the soup.

Eat more fruits now.

That is the diet part.

After I last visited the doctor, had a brain scan that showed nothing, and a comforting talk from my brother about not.to worry too much, I have taken a more positive outlook at my illness. Before, not knowing what ailed me, I was afraid. But now, I concentrate on getting healed.

So much I have been through.

Couple nights back, I told my husband. I am afraid I will never be back to who I was again. Like having to wear a spectacle for life, or disabled, I need to stick to a healthy diet, excercise regularly and not overworked myself.

I mourned the loss of ability to embark fervently on my net business. I always thought once the kids are old enough, I can chiong that one. But if hbp is here to stay, I will be forever bound to the fact that I should not overwork myself.

All my life, I feel that I will do some thing great. That something inside of me wants to get out to do something to benefit the society. So I confided in my husband, now what?

My Dear gave me a real comforting talk that night. Telling me he never thinks people should be measured by how much or what they have achieved. To him, as long as we do not burden the world is quite good enough. It is about just "be".

I realise all the time I am always trying to do something. Puting projects and projects behind me. To me it is like time is not enough to do all that I want to do. You know. I always run around doing things.

So I am also learning to slow down. To learn to be good to myself. Not always "doing" things.

At least for this period while I try to get better. This had been good. If the illness had tried to teach me anything, I have learnt so much, reading up on nutrition, spiritual stuffs lately.

Getting back to medidation was one of the most superb things. In the movie "eat, pray and love" (by the way, that movie is waste of time..sb boring), one guy advised julia robert's character. "If you would just clear your mind, God will so want to rush right in"

That left a deep impression. So I am clearing my mind alot lately.

I just hope to share some of my healing journey with you.